Enviroweb is the blog by a aquatic and environmental scientist Eugene Macri on all aspects of the environment,science, ecology, health, educational science and the politics involved. ©2006 All Rights Reserved E. Macri. Permission to reprint or use electronically as long as credit is given and we are notified.

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Monday, December 17, 2007

Give Them Texas: Solving America's Problems!

Well I have a solution to many problems facing the United States from immigration to the teaching of science in America.....that’s right! Just GIVE THEM TEXAS! Texas which is basically Southwest of nowhere doesn’t help this nation except in destroying it. There are so many possibilities here I just don’t know where to start.

First we will give Texas back to Mexico (or force them to take it if they refuse). Then all illegal immigrants will be granted complete immunity to live in Texas and get all the benefits that Americans have been working for without doing anything. Furthermore, we will give them a piece of the land in Texas to make their very own including parts of George Bush’s Crawford Texas ranch. They will get sixty days to get there and will receive a free $10,000 bonus in US money (sorry they can’t get it in foreign currency because the foreign currencies are worth so much more than our dollar).

Next, all those born-again psycho Evangelicals who think God is coming soon including the likes of the current lunatics like John Hagee and his merry band of doomsayers. They will also receive $10,000 bonus as incentive. Now all the Neocons many who are closeted homosexuals can live there free of charge but they must leave for Texas now so they can gain access to the best gay bars and hideouts.

Finally all the Creationists and the so called Intelligent Design morphodites who reject science and evolution. Recently The Texas Higher Education Coordinating Board will hear the petitions of the Creation Research Institute to teach science education in the schools. You remember these genuses don’t you? Well in case you don’t here’s few points from the Dallas Morning News of what they really believe in:

SOME TENETS OF SCIENTIFIC CREATIONISM

•The physical universe "was supernaturally created by a transcendent personal Creator who alone has existed from eternity."

•Life "was specially and supernaturally created by the Creator."

•All plants and animals were "created functionally complete from the beginning and did not evolve from some other kind of organism."

•Evolution since creation is "limited to 'horizontal' changes (variations) within the kinds, or 'downward' changes (e.g., harmful mutations, extinctions).

•Humans "were specially created in fully human form from the start."

SOME TENETS OF BIBLICAL CREATIONISM

•The creator of the universe is a triune God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

•The universe was created "in the six literal days of the Creation Week" described in Genesis.

•All human beings descended from Adam and Eve.

To put it in a nut shell these people believe that the Flintstones are history rather than a cartoon. That’s right Dinosaurs roamed the earth with man and the earth is less than 6000 years old.

Well just consider what we accomplished with this transfer. Just think of the boom to our economy now that all the externalization of cost is put into Texas which is now owned by Mexico! What about the oil in Texas? Let them have it. It’s a small price to pay for the rest of our country. Considering the list of idiots that have come out of Texas to screw up and destroy America with the likes of the Bush Crime Family and the Tom Delay’s of the world it’s a great investment. Furthermore, once everyone gets there with their completely anti scientific stances they will all pollute themselves to death in one giant clusterfuck! And the world will be a better place for the rest of us! Is there nothing worth saving in Texas? Well on second thought, let’s get those Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders out before we give it back to Mexico because I’m feeling so Christian today!

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